Funny | Humorous Quotes

1. "in times of failing health, don't hopelessly pray for the intervention of a mythical god; wish hope..

»Quotationist

2. "i like to eat monkeys!" -taneisha, student of 6b..

»Gemileiah

3. "omg its kevin the pigeon!!! kevin!"..

»Gemileiah

4. "me gusta!" -gina, classmate of gemileiah..

»Gemileiah

5. My parents need to be proud of me because i don't crazy of drugs but instead crazy of one direction ..

»Amarysti_kardi

6. Since time keeps going on, you keeps getting old each seconds.... don't waste your time studying for..

»Amarysti_kardi

7. A fresh egg is cheeky...

»Shep

8. Don't get carried away by an umbrella that refuses to buckle in the wind...

»Shep

9. You can't take back what you stuck in you..

»Ewokstolemybike

10. Im so famous we cant be facebook friends but you can like my page..

»Raymondgosha

11. Whis i was two puppies so i could play with myself!..

»Fuzzylove

12. I have been love with you for so long, some people just don't like us along i am still holding on th..

»Hrishidalai

13. “no person is busy if he is willing to take out time !!!!”..

»Hrishidalai

14. Good girls go to heaven. bad girls go to your room and you will bring them to heaven. :p..

»Alnnex

15. "if money is the root of all evil; religion is an evil which grows from that root." ~ steve fowler..

»Quotationist

16. Hey, i know who i am! well, actually, i don't, but i know who i'm not and trust me that's far more i..

»Coolcatkim22

17. She is the apple of my eyes but a thorn in my flesh....':'..emmanuel.o.anukam..

»Eoanukam

18. I love her 100% but i love money more....':'-emmanuel.o.anukam..

»Eoanukam

19. "the problem with the nhs is the hospital finances are higher up the critical list than the patients..

»Quotationist

20. I love you, not because you're the greatest person i know, but because you annoy me enough to give i..

»Maddog_luna

21. I say "let death come upon us all if i'm wrong in the end"... but i just like being dramatic. x)..

»Coolguyx2

22. "we should stop counting the years from the birth of a middle eastern fraudster, and start counting ..

»Quotationist

23. Easons are not reasons, they are excuses. dare not tolerate those excuses for neglecting ones heart...

»Camillacoury

24. "the best cure for spirits and demons isn't exorcism, it's atheism." ~ steve fowler..

»Quotationist

25. I crack me up! i swear, if no one ever thought i was funny it wouldn't matter. i think i'm hilarious..

»Danageorge

26. Many people says love is blind but why is there love at first sight?..

»Alnnex

27. Strength and courage are mere characteristics, what defines a hero is the ability the sacrifice ones..

»Bryaningwersen

28. When i was young and college educated, i took pride in being called 'smart alec'. now old and more e..

»Frosty

29. I want my goddamn mountain dew ~francis (he is on youtube look him up francis rages about random cra..

»Emokid55

30. "my neighbour called round to foretell me of the loud music i can expect when his party kicks off. i..

»Quotationist

31. All drips should be gathered in a bucket and poured down the drain...

»Maxi_masood

32. Mad as a hatter..

»Katy532lol

33. Hurry up and buy!!!!..

»Darkandlovely

34. "easter is the day when a greedy, devouring, gluttonous religion makes us all greedy, devouring and ..

»Quotationist

35. When life gives you lemons squirt them in someone's face it will make you feel better ~bitchy..

»Emo_brat77

36. Live your life in a way you want to be remembered..

»Bartlomiejkurela

37. "setting the clocks back for 146 days a year is equivalent to setting the economy back for 146 days ..

»Quotationist

38. "behaviour or language that shows disrespect for god is equal to behaviour or language that shows di..

»Quotationist

39. With the opportunity you have today, do appreciate the possible way to change your future. you'll ne..

»Elynn_zenda

40. Falling in love is like getting really drunk, it’s fun while your drunk until the next morning whe..

»Atoledo34953

41. The media's thought process: "there's war in foreign lands, poverty is nationwide, politics is being..

»Vykktor

42. "i love me too"..

»Redeemed1

43. ''i doesn't understand'' rather than ''i don't know''. ''i don't know'' knows nothing. ''i doesn't u..

»Elynn_zenda

44. After you're dead and put in the ground, that's when people try to dig up dirt on you...............

»Sinoda51

45. You cheated on me for that piece of crap.!.?.!.?..

»Puppygirl011599

46. Come to the dark side we have....umm, i think we ate all of the cookies, but.! we have, oh. wait no...

»Puppygirl011599

47. When life gives you lemons look up and scream "wtf! am i supposed to do with theese.?"..

»Puppygirl011599

48. "...brazilians and their sweaty, fuck-all-day attitudes." - scott f. on them crazy south americans...

»Stretch_mclean

49. "just joking is 3 time funny enough, if u exceed it will irritate like hell"..

»Barbie

50. We are allowed to show concern for others. but be wary of showing concern beyond a person’s comfor..

»Anilshetty