Funny Witty Quotes

Most of us never grow up, but our age does. Most of us never grow up, but our age does...

Age Funny Short Witty

Grow Age
Some songs will be better with changes in their words, music and the singer. Some songs will be better with changes in their words, music and the singer...

Change Funny Music Witty One liners

Music
Do not Do not 'Aprilify' my foolishness, nor 'Augustinize' my temper...

Funny Short Time Witty

They say that luck knocks at least once in life, hence, if luck hasn They say that luck knocks at least once in life, hence, if luck hasn't yet knocked your door, then..

Funny Inspirational Life Opportunity Witty

Life Door
Don Don't call your child 'idiot', he may be well informed about genetic heredity...

Age Family Funny Science Witty

Call Child
All that glitters is the root of all evil. All that glitters is the root of all evil...

Funny Short Truth Witty

Evil
A stitch in time saves a wardrobe malfunction. A stitch in time saves a wardrobe malfunction...

Funny Short Truth Witty

Time
Museums are a thing of the past Museums are a thing of the past..

Funny Short Truth Witty One liners

Past
My computer is SO OLD, it has Windows B.C.! My computer is SO OLD, it has Windows B.C.!..

Computers Funny Short Witty

Nothing can affect me more than his affection : ) Nothing can affect me more than his affection : )..

Funny Love Short Witty wordplay

I wake up early to appreciate the beauty of the world before all the A**holes wake up and spoil it. I wake up early to appreciate the beauty of the world before all the A**holes wake up and spoil it...

Beauty Funny Optimism Witty

World Beauty Wake
Bite the hand of any government that it feeds you propaganda. Bite the hand of any government that it feeds you propaganda...

Anger Funny Inspirational Politics Witty

Hand
Why give up if life takes no hostages? Why give up if life takes no hostages?..

Funny Goal Life Opportunity Patience

Life Give
Never leave a bathroom without an idea Never leave a bathroom without an idea..

Funny Short Witty One liners

Idea
If you won If you won't embrace your curves.. can I?..

Beauty Computers Funny Short Witty

Not even a single possible thing is impossible Not even a single possible thing is impossible..

Funny Inspirational Optimism Short Witty

Impossible Possible Single
People who are in love with the sound of their voice eventually find they have a small audience. People who are in love with the sound of their voice eventually find they have a small audience...

Funny Inspirational Short Witty

Love People Find
Those who blow their own trumpets often end up hoarse Those who blow their own trumpets often end up hoarse..

Funny Short Witty Wisdom One liners

Being resourceful is a gift. It allows the mind to utilize various avenues to travel to one Being resourceful is a gift. It allows the mind to utilize various avenues to travel to one's own..

Education Funny Inspirational Optimism Witty

Being Mind Gift
Talk less if you want to communicate more Talk less if you want to communicate more..

Funny Short Witty Wisdom

Want Talk
I want to think outside the box because it I want to think outside the box because it's crowded in there....

Confidence Courage Creativity Funny Imagination

Want Think
Everyone is searching for the key to success. You already have it. Finding the right door, the one Everyone is searching for the key to success. You already have it. Finding the right door, the one..

Desire Education Funny Leadership Opportunity

Success Door
Whether or not you have glasses or contacts, your hindsight will always be 20-20. Whether or not you have glasses or contacts, your hindsight will always be 20-20...

Funny Life Short Witty

Death is just nature Death is just nature's way of making room for birth...

Death Funny Short Witty One liners

Way Death
Since it Since it's not the best guy who always wins, you too can try..

Funny Short Witty

Try
Did you say life is unfair? I never heard it promising anybody anything. what do you expect? Did you say life is unfair? I never heard it promising anybody anything. what do you expect?..

Funny Life Optimism Short Witty

Life Expect
Love is a heaven, but it can hurt you like hell Love is a heaven, but it can hurt you like hell..

Funny Love Short Witty

Love Hurt Hell Heaven
It doesn It doesn't matter if you are handsome, When you have 'handy sum'...

Funny Short Witty

Matter
'Now' is the good time to do almost anything...

Funny Short Time Witty

Time
To err is human, to forgive self is not divine To err is human, to forgive self is not divine..

Funny Short Witty

Human Self Forgive
To err is human, to forget it is inhuman To err is human, to forget it is inhuman..

Funny Short Witty

Human Forget
You You'll ignore a lot of things when you do away with ignorance...

Funny Short Witty One liners

Ignorance Ignore
Lying against the truth is like believing an ant to win a battle with an elephant.. Lying against the truth is like believing an ant to win a battle with an elephant....

Funny Truth Witty Wisdom lie

Truth Win
Envy is nonexchangeable because those envious towards you have nothing to make you envious towards Envy is nonexchangeable because those envious towards you have nothing to make you envious towards..

Funny Hate Witty

Anything that cannot bend is susceptible to smashing. Anything that cannot bend is susceptible to smashing...

Funny Nature Politics Short Truth

A bird in the hand is probably not alive. A bird in the hand is probably not alive...

Funny Short Truth Witty

Hand Alive
Even the wise learn from fool Even the wise learn from fool's words, it's only a foolish that joke with wise words....

Funny Philosophy Short Truth Witty

Learn Wise
People who think money is the root of all evil haven People who think money is the root of all evil haven't tried radishes..

Funny Short Witty

People Think Money Evil
Some people are good at throwing others under the bus. Some people are good at throwing others under the bus...

Funny Short Truth Witty

People
Christmas comes in winter because it wants us to be well demure. Christmas comes in winter because it wants us to be well demure...

Funny Happiness Witty

That who has the pen to write never blacklists his name. That who has the pen to write never blacklists his name...

Funny Opportunity Short Witty Wisdom

I don I don't agree with Sigmund Freud. This is why I didn't read any of his books...

Funny Imagination Nature Witty

Read
Let your ideas be the measure of your intelligence and not your remembrance of a textbook. Let your ideas be the measure of your intelligence and not your remembrance of a textbook...

Funny Imagination Inspirational Witty Wisdom

a meeting is an event where minutes are taken and hours are wasted A meeting is an event where minutes are taken and hours are wasted..

Funny Sad Short Time Truth

Dear Forever, I Dear Forever, I'm sorry you didn't last....

Funny Short Witty

Forever
So many would say, So many would say, 'past is past. ' So why study history?..

Funny History Short Witty

Past History
If your love is found. Congrats, you If your love is found. Congrats, you've just won something you'll possibly lose again...

Funny Witty Wisdom

Love
Divorce is just a way of getting rich quicker. Divorce is just a way of getting rich quicker...

Funny Marriage Witty Wisdom

Way Rich
If time is money, and everything takes time, is it fair to say that If time is money, and everything takes time, is it fair to say that 'Everything takes money' ?..

Funny Life Philosophy Witty money

Time Money
Being lazy has advantages, for instance if you are lazy it becomes very hard to hold a grudge. Too Being lazy has advantages, for instance if you are lazy it becomes very hard to hold a grudge. Too..

Funny Hate Life Witty

Being Hold
next