Short Funny Quotes, Short Funny Picture Quotes & Quotations

Short Funny Quotes Pictures

some rules are too simple.. , but those are the rules to determined who we become.. ! Some rules are too simple.. , but those are the rules to determined who we become.. !..

Inspirational Relationship Success Truth Wisdom

Most of us never grow up, but our age does. Most of us never grow up, but our age does...

Age Witty

Grow Age
This is where our life greatness begins from.. ! This is where our life greatness begins from.. !..

Inspirational Life Love Philosophy Relationship

Some ingredients of truth with pure lie makes the perfect lie Some ingredients of truth with pure lie makes the perfect lie..

Philosophy Truth One liners lie

Truth Lie
I went to Catholic school. Every Summer our vacation was a Guilt Trip. I went to Catholic school. Every Summer our vacation was a Guilt Trip...


Many people dream of doing the impossible and they aren Many people dream of doing the impossible and they aren't even doing the possible...

Inspirational Success Truth Wisdom

People Dream Impossible Possible
Without you I can Without you I can't Breathe, I love you so much, 'My Nose'..


Do not Do not 'Aprilify' my foolishness, nor 'Augustinize' my temper...

Time Witty

All that glitters is the root of all evil. All that glitters is the root of all evil...

Truth Witty

A stitch in time saves a wardrobe malfunction. A stitch in time saves a wardrobe malfunction...

Truth Witty

Museums are a thing of the past Museums are a thing of the past..

Truth Witty One liners

Age is just a number. Yes it is, a number of wrinkles and grey hair Age is just a number. Yes it is, a number of wrinkles and grey hair..

Age Life

My computer is SO OLD, it has Windows B.C.! My computer is SO OLD, it has Windows B.C.!..

Computers Witty

Devil is in the detail, everywhere else there is leadership rhetoric! Devil is in the detail, everywhere else there is leadership rhetoric!..


Peace is a war without killing. ‎ Peace is a war without killing. ‎..

Peace Politics War

Peace War
Happiness is a drug, .. get addicted. Happiness is a drug, .. get addicted...

Happiness Life

Nothing can affect me more than his affection : ) Nothing can affect me more than his affection : )..

Love Witty wordplay

An apple a day keeps the doctor away. And a garlic a day keeps everybody away. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. And a garlic a day keeps everybody away...

Today Today's single women rather live without a man than without a cell phone...


Women Single
Some people stop lying only when they are asleep. Advanced liars even lie in their dreams Some people stop lying only when they are asleep. Advanced liars even lie in their dreams..

Dreams Life lie

People Stop Lie
I I'm a doormat, but I'm the first to welcome you...

Confidence Sad

Why give up if life takes no hostages? Why give up if life takes no hostages?..

Goal Life Opportunity Patience Witty

Life Give
Food has its own story and it Food has its own story and it's hauntingly delicious!..

Story Food
I don I don't know, where do I find the courage, to be such a coward!..

Anger Courage Failure Life Sad

Know Find Courage

Top 10 Short Funny Quotes

Life is not a joke. Its a comedy serial.- Gyan SaxenaNever leave a bathroom without an idea- Edmond H SweidyIf you won't embrace your curves.. can I?- Charles E LyleNot even a single possible thing is impossible- Lokesh giriPeople who are in love with the sound of their voice eventually find they have a small audience.- Donald Lynn FrostThose who blow their own trumpets often end up hoarse- Patricia SchwitzerA pessimist is a person who looks both ways before crossing a one way road.- Darab ImteyazThough poverty is the worst curse it has something to teach, 'get out of it'.- Lisa RoyA generalist lives longer than a specialist- Dr N Sai Bhaskar ReddyTalk less if you want to communicate more- Lokesh giri

All Short Funny Quotes

I want to think outside the box because it's crowded in there..- Paul PeshkovKids, Here is an advice you must listen to in order to keep happiness : Don't grow up!- Daleen IrshaidWomen hide their age through make up. Men try to hide their age by marrying women who look young- bornagainIf you are taking life seriously you are not wise yet- Lokesh giriWhether or not you have glasses or contacts, your hindsight will always be 20-20.- alecWhen Life Throws You Melons.. Make Melonade!- SvenGod created texting so that parents can communicate with their children.- Vicky RobinsonDeath is just nature's way of making room for birth.- christine sharlandWhen god gave women more threshold of pain he also made sure they get more pain too.- Lokesh giriWhy do people bother so much about dying, when they have so many other things to do while alive?- Bipin Kumar G JSince it's not the best guy who always wins, you too can try- Lokesh giriMany are slaves of their own weaknesses, some are even of others' weaknesses :)- Lokesh giriWe hate our own bad qualities than anybody else's but only when seen in somebody else.- Lokesh giriIt's really easy to be in someone else's shoes if they fit, of course unless they stink.- Lokesh giriDid you say life is unfair? I never heard it promising anybody anything. what do you expect?- Lokesh giriRegained childhood is the last stage of perfection.- Lokesh giriLove is a heaven, but it can hurt you like hell- Prince Sunil RajIt doesn't matter if you are handsome, When you have 'handy sum'.- Lokesh giri'Now' is the good time to do almost anything.- Lokesh giriPeople say 'words make a difference'. But I say 'spelling in the words make the difference'.- rakeshbabuArranged marriage is murder, love marriage is suicide, ultimately marriage is death.- Lokesh giriTo err is human, to forgive self is not divine- Lokesh giriTo err is human, to forget it is inhuman- Lokesh giriSound minds never make much sound outside.- Lokesh giriThe word 'ME' hurts me as well as others.- rakeshThey say time and tide wait for nun! but I ask why discrimination?- Lokesh giriDon't be a fool just act dumb- Takunda MusingwiniBefore resolving conflicts with violence, if possible, warm up and stretch.- Mario GonzálezEveryone hurries to their graves. - RomeoBe different not weird- Suraj Bhaskar GholapBe careful of temporary decisions, they can delay you forever.- Sipho P NkosiWho wants balls of steel when you can have them in gold?- QuagganQuoter69To condemn everybody is to condemn nobody- mohdmustafa99You need to use all your heads to understand your single heart.- mohdmustafa99Why should I love you ? I want to love you without 'should'- mohdmustafa99You can be neutral , but to be a pro-neutral is not neutrality.- mohdmustafa99An opportunity makes a thief; lack of opportunities makes the honest ones.- mohdmustafa99I don't wish death for my enemy , but I wish my enemy be against my wishes.- mohdmustafa99You'll ignore a lot of things when you do away with ignorance.- mohdmustafa99Bad words near your lips are flies to oust away.- mohdmustafa99News is always good because it tells who is worse than us- mohdmustafa99Love doesn't only play with hearts but also with adrenal glands- mohdmustafa99Marriage is one way to free oneself from love- mohdmustafa99Most people are not famous because they are not good enough nor too bad.- mohdmustafa99The prideful suck up more air than others.- Joe CervantesA divorced woman knows much about marriage though she failed it- mohdmustafa99Save Coy. It's in danger.- mohdmustafa99Never work like a mosquito; you'll be hit deadly.- mohdmustafa99I only smoke when I'm on fire, very painful, don't recommend it.- David L. RoseYou see doctors to have good health, therefore see consultants to have good decisions.- mohdmustafa99It is great to be serious but not too serious- mohdmustafa99Blame yourself , others are too busy to do you this favor.- mohdmustafa99A lot of smokers started smoking just after they got free lighters.- mohdmustafa99Women must do a lot until gender equity becomes a male demand.- mohdmustafa99First love is a good training opportunity to process the second serenely.- mohdmustafa99Any man should be able to afford to pay for his own lawyer; and, his own teeth.- The Quoted IrisJudgmental people are mental people!- Shweta FernandesA suicide committer is a crazy one who doesn't want to enjoy his or her craziness.- mohdmustafa99Dreams are reality of that who oversleeps.- mohdmustafa99I couldn't do what I can , let me try what I can't.- mohdmustafa99Our children are like kings of the ancient times; they like to write their names on walls.- mohdmustafa99Truth is always painful unless you accept it.- Kowsalapathy SaravananMy wife is beautiful, intelligent and kind. Her only flaw is that she is real :)- Lokesh giriEmploy graduates before they forget information of their specialties.- mohdmustafa99A job without work is worse than work without a job.- mohdmustafa99Honesty has nothing bad except it makes you poor.- mohdmustafa99If the heart speaks it will say to the tongue , 'You are a liar'- mohdmustafa99The Mailman's Creed should be changed to 'We deliver whenever we feel like it.- The Quoted IrisNever serve who doesn't serve oneself; never serve who can serve oneself.- mohdmustafa99We hate money, particularly the very little of it..- mohdmustafa99Fools can hardly make a minority, but can easily make a majority.- mohdmustafa99Anything that cannot bend is susceptible to smashing.- mohdmustafa99Ignorance is darkness of both night and daytime.- mohdmustafa99A bird in the hand is probably not alive.- Raymond Richard ReepDon't wait for doors to open, just burst right through them.- joey the poetEven the wise learn from fool's words, it's only a foolish that joke with wise words..- Kayode Seyi TayoPeople who think money is the root of all evil haven't tried radishes- David SchapiroGot really excited when my dentist told me that I was going to get a crown.- joey the poetWriting is my hobby, 'not to write' is my business.- mohdmustafa99Some people are good at throwing others under the bus.- joey the poetWe are the factorys of shit- harish vashdevSome says food is medicine. But for some medicine is food.- Kowsalapathy SaravananMost people in New York suffer from insomnia because they live in a city that never sleeps.- Samuel E. VillegasThat who has the pen to write never blacklists his name.- mohdmustafa99The peacock is not colored by Darwin.- mohdmustafa99I hate teenagers who are 40 years old.- mohdmustafa99The deaf are more tolerable than bad listeners.- mohdmustafa99My idea of a wild Friday night is buying a bottle of wine and not sharing it.- Dana Jo GraslieIf you don't have anything to do , do anything.- mohdmustafa99A little craziness goes a long way.- Victor CourageA meeting is an event where minutes are taken and hours are wasted- Timothy Michael LongDear Forever, I'm sorry you didn't last..- Daleen IrshaidSo many would say, 'past is past. ' So why study history?- Gregorio SantosNo matter how you look, you always face consequences- Farhad DastoorA girl will never carry the same look for the second time, the one which made you fall in love with her- Farhad DastoorIt takes a cat nine lives to get screwed altogether- bornagainLive is not a game it's a nightmare- kolwer perezIf silence speaks in volume, I possess many a unpublished book within.- Spirit RocLove is like a rain it will come and go- kubhendraWhen you feel like rats are running inside your stomach, trust me.. Rat poison is not a good idea.- Lokesh giriForgive lord for I'm about to sin, just to get that all settled.- Jack BrownIf there is an after life, I don't really care at the moment I'm still living this one.- Jack BrownNever say 'Lid' in a drugstore!- The Quoted IrisAny dream without merry pixies doesn't deserve to sleep for- mohdmustafa99Any 'famous' one I don't know is not famous.- mohdmustafa99Women get involved in politics when they discover that men are not fit for it.- mohdmustafa99Women must do a lot until gender equity becomes a male demand.- mohdmustafa99Make humanity your attribute to make yourself a multi-attribute person.- mohdmustafa99Great nations want to keep us laughter, to keep having something to laugh at.- mohdmustafa99What a difficult charge; to forget what you want to forget- mohdmustafa99I wish bashfulness is a communicable disease- mohdmustafa99Have you noticed? the bathroom mirror gives a different picture than the one in the bedroom- Mhlongo Ndumiso JuliusWhen somebody says 'couple' I assume it's 4 or more people- Mhlongo Ndumiso JuliusWhen I'm alone by myself I become extremely intelligent but when I'm out there with the people I just become super stupid- Mhlongo Ndumiso JuliusA philogynist is a gentleman fond of women except his wife.- mohdmustafa99A ministry of defense often has two stones for killing a bird.- mohdmustafa99A garrulous person is that who explains his clear talk.- mohdmustafa99All members of the British Parliament have fluent English unless they speak about Brexit.- mohdmustafa99Each is dancing alone like parts in peace negotiations.- mohdmustafa99Good whispering or gossip requires either a conspiracy or love affairs- mohdmustafa99I am not a troublesome although I have a lot of banana peels.- mohdmustafa99I don't know which is wrong: my society or theories of sociology- mohdmustafa99Riots are policemen when they are hurried up to fight a peaceful gathering.- mohdmustafa99Those who are not lions must accept having the little remainder.- mohdmustafa99Video games are laughter when played by people at 20 and above.- mohdmustafa99A heir is lucky, but the testator was luckier.- mohdmustafa99The only golden rule is that all women adore gold.- mohdmustafa99Whoever utilizes his or her naughtiness is developing to be naughtier.- mohdmustafa99Not all Hamlets are Danish. Not all Danish are Hamlets.- mohdmustafa99Routine puts all its sentences in continuous present.- mohdmustafa99There are two types of habits : One makes you funny by things such as narcotics ; and the other makes you very miserable by things such as narcotics.- mohdmustafa99It is unfair to calculate the percentage of insane ones; otherwise the remainder will think that they are sane.- mohdmustafa99Liars are very important for our life. Without them, we cannot know the credible ones.- mohdmustafa99It is socially satisfying to have several brothers since you are not Prophet Joseph- mohdmustafa99Cotton is not enough to escape roar coming into your ears.- mohdmustafa99Valentines is for cute portable girls. The rest belong to fools day- Mr vybs liveI have never started a clash, and I have never lost out any- mohdmustafa99The middle is the best position with the exception of holding a stick- mohdmustafa99Some people speak like Moses and act as the Pharaoh.- mohdmustafa99Theory of conspiracy in practice is to burn up the American flag when a Russian air raid attacks your town.- mohdmustafa99Not all carpenters have their doors broken.- mohdmustafa99A big smile of a dealer is a kind of advertisement.- mohdmustafa99Chastity doesn't distort glamour of a lady.- mohdmustafa99A police officer looks at you thrice sharply if you look at him just the once cautiously.- mohdmustafa99Creditors are like our wives , never accept apology about our small salaries.- mohdmustafa99Sandwich must be renamed by the name of its waiter not the eater.- mohdmustafa99Idiots take revenge on the genius by misusing their inventions.- mohdmustafa99Every time anyone pretends that s/he is not seeing me, he found me doing the same.- mohdmustafa99Most people are not smart in cheating , because the smart cheaters took everything of this art.- mohdmustafa99A wife must be envious of the family's female servant.- mohdmustafa99Love is a disease, to cure use the placebo.- mohdmustafa99A dog doesn't wish to be a human as it barks at us disdaining our humanity.- mohdmustafa99You are not famous if you get upset by someone who knows you without knowing him.- mohdmustafa99Corruption makes offices like prisons ; places of offenders.- mohdmustafa99It's easy to become anything you want in your imagination- Tijani Kehinde JohnA thief can never steal what belongs to him- Tijani Kehinde JohnThank God twice. That post doesn't fit me , and the date of applying for it was expired.- mohdmustafa99To know how far you are atheist, read the Holy Book.- mohdmustafa99It is social development to change a thief from stealing to a receiver of reliefs.- mohdmustafa99A corrupt is a magician who can steal money without seeing it at the time of theft.- mohdmustafa99A Miss dislikes being mistakenly called Mrs. The reverse is not true.- mohdmustafa99Repeat your mistakes but not artistically, nor haphazardly.- mohdmustafa99I don't know if Adam and Eve were white or black , but I can guess they were beige. ‏- mohdmustafa99Regimen is to open your refrigerator, and to close it again without taking anything from..- mohdmustafa99Yea, you are crazy; just like everyone.- mohdmustafa99A nightmare is better than snoring because the first upsets you alone and the latter upsets others.- mohdmustafa99To have one face means you have not yet become a hypocrite.- mohdmustafa99I don't hate idiots outside lecturing halls of a university.- mohdmustafa99A word without an opposite meaning is meaningless..- Ikulabi Anikulapo IkuforijiCats are useless. Even mice agree with this fact.- mohdmustafa99Do you want people do as you do? Do the wrong.- mohdmustafa99A fool doesn't redress because when he writes he corrects nothing.- mohdmustafa99A human was born free, but fees and taxes make him doubtful about this condition.- mohdmustafa99Money can buy love. Every time I go shopping I buy things I love.- mohdmustafa99Some ladies are very beautiful to the extent that makes you look at them twice.- mohdmustafa99Family planning is the cosseting nickname of birth control.- mohdmustafa99They said that he might be a terrorist because he conducted like a non-terrorist tourist.- mohdmustafa99Dear, don't be like a bear, otherwise I can't bear.- Samir valviEat to live or live to eat , but don't take my meal.- mohdmustafa99Atheists believe that nature created them, although nature didn't say that.- mohdmustafa99Donors want to be droplets, and they want you to hold your umbrella.- mohdmustafa99If children annoy each other, the won't annoy us.- mohdmustafa99A gang of thieves is an unnatural group. When a cat wants to steal something it conducts alone.- mohdmustafa99Wives do not like their husbands being 'hit under the belt'.- mohdmustafa99A bureaucrat has nothing to do except work.- mohdmustafa99A non-smoker does nothing when s/he is doing nothing.- mohdmustafa99A dictionary is a good tool to get rid of it.- mohdmustafa99I'm not young enough to know what I mustn't know.- mohdmustafa99Let's free people who think that they are free.- mohdmustafa99Nothing resembles postmodernism like pre-modernism.- mohdmustafa99Prattling is amusing, but silence does this better.- mohdmustafa99One must always have defeatable enemies to enjoy victories..- mohdmustafa99A truthful person is that who doesn't reveal his/her lies.- mohdmustafa99We forgive fools, but isn't this the definition of foolishness ?- mohdmustafa99 When life gives you wives, you make more children - Kenneth LeA fool and his money are a girl's best friend.- Raymond Richard ReepA museum is a thing of the past- Raymond Richard ReepWith less and less interest in antiques, museums are becoming a thing of the past.- Raymond Richard ReepAlways remember birthday as the beginning and never forget death day as the end..- Aye AyeI didn't invent the wheel, I just roll with it.- Michael CrowleyI used to be a genius but I gave it up for a higher paid job.- Victor CourageSanity is immeasurable; insanity is. ‎- mohdmustafa99I dream too big to be living so small- Joseph cofferYou can't live forever, simply because you must leave.- Abdullahi Yahya YusufA man's heart cannot stand by itself, it needs a woman to hold it.- joey the poetMusic is an art, when you listen you'll get the picture.- gary frank laderbergAn IT guy is a computer god- Ndumiso Happiness is irritating your Best Friend in the most insane way- Suyog PotdarThe Road to Insanity begins in mind. Some have crossed the half way, some have just started ..- claudius fernandoLife is like a potato, it's not a tomato- Juan FonsecaIf I were your lighthouse we'd be awaken by the sounds of ships crashing against the shore.- Brandon KellumCount your secrets before they hatch.- mohdmustafa99When angry, her vocabulary power increases remarkably.- mohdmustafa99The truth is i'm already taken by someone who is already taken by someone..- ashMaking of true men is a feminist affair.- mohdmustafa99Fools teach fools to do how fools do.- saintification If you have a problem and you think solution is very long , you forget the problem - Herman TeichroebA dream has no age- Jadean N. PittsNothing is advancing here except ages.- mohdmustafa99Mad people barely go mad.- mohdmustafa99I'm not gay, but twenty bucks is twenty bucks- Aaron OrtizSometimes to do more you got to do less.- Sean Robert DaltonIf you want to be a merchant , don't be of a Venice type.- mohdmustafa99You have to choose, either to be my something or my nothing.- mohdmustafa99Take your bed; it's time to lie not to lie.- mohdmustafa99Be careful what you say on Facebook. Because it will bite you on the a** later.- Monica HillBadly dressed as a tailor.- mohdmustafa99Restore your ex-wife; she has restored her happiness.- mohdmustafa99To hate drugs equalizes to love diseases.- mohdmustafa99Faults occur when you correct the true acts.- mohdmustafa99Success is just another word for 'I did it!'- James RolfTo continue making love to your wife after your children have caught you, is darn near impossible!- Keith BrownIts funny how people pretend to be something they see- Enmanuel RosadoIf you love someone set them free.. so they can go around the corner and screw someone else.- JulesOf course I'm superstitious, the mere fact that I'm alive makes me superstitious- Gina Millicent BairdI was born intelligent but education ruined me- ahmad hasanFramed by my own Fate..- Sahil KaranjeAnother word for marriage is compromise.- shiza shahidThe only thing that one does not know, is the only thing that one does not know- Brayne MatshotshiI smile because I don't want to waste brushing my teeth for nothing- Daleen IrshaidAmong fools I'm canis majoris- Lokesh giriQ: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Why not?- Gregorio SantosI graduated from 'staying strong university'- JESSICA SERITA ABRAMSBeauty lies in the questionable eyesight of the beholder- bornagainWake-up Alarms are probably one of the most inhuman, merciless and cruelest inventions of man..- saikiranStudy is USELESS, cheating is the BEST- lyeah sexcion dasallaIt is better to have skeletons in your closet than a dead hooker in your trunk.- Christoper DeBonisLiving in saudi without a car is like living in england without a girlfriend- diya ahmed azzonyTo show that you love someone. Don't do it on facebook.- Brandon McCullochI really don't like you. I just love you.- Meagan Lynn GervaisReminiscing your past is awful waste of present, unless present is going awful bad- Lokesh giriLife is still my favorite passion, though I haven't been its favorite person- Lokesh giriPatience is a virtue, impatience is an art- Lokesh giriWe are afraid that things that on an average could never happen to us might happen to us.- william anneIf you stare at some one long enough they blink.- Jack BrownMy dad is a millionaire, he has millions in debt.- Lokesh giriIf most of us are abnormal, being abnormal becomes normal- Lokesh giriWhen genius leaves the brain foolishness fills the void.- Lokesh giriI'm glad I have done good number of bad things.- Lokesh giriWhy just love your neighbors? Love their neighbors too.- Lokesh giriImperfection annoys the imperfect- Lokesh giri